I haven't written in awhile. This break has been scattered with increasingly bad times.

On Sunday, I went skiing and got into a spectacular accident that I actually didn't get badly hurt in. I managed to walk away with only a bloody nose and a bruised body.

The other night was New Years Eve, and I was looking forward to spending it with Andy. I dressed up all nice and made my hair pretty just for him. He showed up late, and left only minutes after he arrived to get booze from John's grandma's house. This upset me terribly. He came back claiming he only drank a little... which doesn't explain the way he was puking his guts out hours later.

He didn't act drunk. He acted fine up until the moment he got sick. I was so disgusted and upset at the idea, that I left abruptly while he was puking to go home and cry. People who were still there told me how sick he was getting, and how he got mad at them for not letting him drive home.

I've decided I can't be with him anymore. His self destruction appalls me. His smoking had already bothered me a lot, and the other night just threw it over the top.

He called me today apologizing for the whole ordeal, only after his friend told him he should try and smooth things over with me. I told him I needed time, because I didn't know what I wanted to do yet.

I'm breaking it off.

I'm going to offer his Christmas present back to him. I don't know if he wants me to keep it.

I felt so ill over the ordeal that I didn't eat all day.

a new piece melted @12:56 a.m.