I'm watching Everybody Loves Raymond and discussing the confusion that is life with James and Megan.

I was talking to Carl the other night, and we decided that I confuse myself about what I want when I flirt shamelessly with everyone. So.. though its in my nature, and most of the time it happens without my knowledge, I'm going to try and hold back. So I can seperate myself from the situation and set myself straight again. I always have this image of the guys that I end up liking that only half fits them. I expect things from them I will not get because its not in their nature. And then I end up ending it sooner then it started.

I need a break.

I'm too lost in this world of guys.

I'm constantly surrounded by them.

I need some girls in my life.

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the other day I was in the backseat of my mom's buick, looking out the window as we drove to brunch. it was snowing, just like it has been for the past few days.. and everything was white.. I had the sudden inspiration to write, so I picked up a brown paper bag and a pen and wrote on it. it didn't turn out very well, but I wasn't going for good. just writing for the hell of it.

Reading over it, I hate it immensely, but whatever, its still going in here.

"The trees dormant, sleeping, waiting

once again for the morning of spring

the ground, covered in white

the snow, covering the luscious vibrant green that I love.

Everything looks so tired, so dead.

The sun rarely shines, covered by lightly shaded grey clouds.

The artist who painted this picture was filled with sadness.

The roads are covred in various forms of winter precipitation.

Snow, slush, ice.

Cars pass by that are missing headlights and have dents in their bodies.

Snow, slush, and ice cause this.

I can't wait for spring to wake me up."

a new piece melted @8:51 p.m.